Asking Questions Might Save Your Life: A Horse Tale

By Elizabeth Redhead Kriston, MS/CCC-SLP

The white blaze on his muzzle and the way his black mane sprang off his light brown coat was all I could see through the view finder of my camera as Sonny raced toward me at a full gallop. He showed no sign of veering as I stood frozen with fear and indecision. I lowered my camera so I could get a better look at the situation. All I saw were hooves contacting the earth kicking up chunks of sod as Sonny continued on his course straight toward me.

Sonny, a beautiful Arabian, had almost human like qualities that made one think of a precocious child. He was intelligent and a little naughty. However, in that moment, he seemed to have lost all of his humor. He was on a singular mission that he could not be disengaged from completing. He approached me at ever increasing speed as I contemplated what to do. Do I duck and cover? Do I veer to the right? Do I veer to the left? Do I wet my pants?

Learn About Therapeutic Horseback Riding

http://www.pathintl.org/resources-education/faculty/27-resources/general/198-learn-about-therapeutic-riding
The events that got me in this very precarious position were altruistic which made it feel unjust. A few weeks prior, I had begun volunteering at a not-for-profit therapeutic horseback riding farm. My training was minimal but good enough to keep me safe in the event of any trouble that might occur within the arena surrounded by competent and experienced horse people. At this point, the things I knew about horse safety include:

Horse Safety Basics

1. Never approach a horse so as to startle it, stay out of its blind spots.
2.  When walking behind a horse stay very close or very far so that it cannot kick you.
3. When feeding a horse from your hand, keep your hand flat so it won’t chew off your fingers.
4. Every horse has a unique personality, understanding it will help you interact best with it.

As you can see, none of my horse safety knowledge addressed my current predicament. It was clear, I should have asked more questions.

Find more horse safety tips here:

http://horseandrider.com/article/safety_rules_kids_052908-20083

                

You must be wondering, “Why was she being charged by a horse?” That is a very good question. At the time, I fancied myself an amateur photographer. As a way to raise funds for the therapeutic program, I volunteered to take snapshots of the horses on the farm.  We would assemble them into a calendar. The finished product would be sold to the community. 

After taking numerous stagnant photos, I decided that what the calendar really needed was some action shots. Sonny was one of the most photogenic horses on the farm and he seemed the perfect specimen for our high speed photo shoot.

My plan was not well thought out. This became abundantly clear as I stood stationary, stupid with fear trying to decide what to do. As Sonny sped closer, my reality blurred. All I know for sure is that I was screaming, at least on the inside. I closed my eyes and trusted my instincts. 

Time seemed to slow. I continued to hold the trigger on my camera as it snapped frame after frame of the approaching horse.

My memory relies completely on my other four senses as my eyes were squeezed shut. As I waited to be trampled, I felt the hot air of Sonny’s nostrils blow on my face followed by the thudding of his hoofs on the ground followed by the stench of horse sweat and fear (mine I think) followed by a split second of silence followed by the sparkling laughter of Gabby.

Gabby was the infectiously happy teenage daughter of the owner of the farm. She was the one who lead Sonny to the middle of that pasture as I waited many yards away with my SLR camera at the ready. 

She was the one who smacked Sonny on his hindquarters sending him off with a shout at full speed straight at me and my rapidly clicking shutter. She was the one I blame, though I can’t be angry with her.

Gabby  reached me and her peals of laughter calmed me. I began to laugh through my tears and shakes caused by the terror I experienced just a moment before. 

Gabby, between laughs asked, “Why didn’t you make yourself big and raise your arms up?” She demonstrated by flapping her arms like the wings of a condor. “That would have made Sonny turn sooner,” she insisted. If only I had known. If only I had asked.

It is not as if this is the first time that I realized I should ask more questions. I am not sure why I do not ask what seems like obvious questions. 

Perhaps I think I know more that I really do. Perhaps I think the answers should be apparent. Perhaps I believe the answers will reveal themselves in due time. Perhaps I do not know the questions to ask. Whatever the reason for not asking the questions in the past, after being nearly trampled by a horse, I feel that asking the questions really is a matter of life and death (in some situations), or at least could definitely make life go much more smoothly.

When I begin to presume to know more than I actually do, all I have to do is conjure up the image of Sonny racing toward me at full speed and me powerless to do anything to change his course. 

That empowers me to change my current course and ask the question no matter how obvious the answer might seem. I have found that folks become impatient with my questions, but like a three year old, I feel the need to press on and ask “why, why, why” to the annoyance of all.

How To Ask Good Questions

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-amazingly-good-asking-questions.html

https://hbr.org/2010/02/learn-to-ask-better-questions

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_88.htm

8 Fun Summertime Activities to Keep Young Brains Sharp

By: Elizabeth Redhead Kriston, MS/CCC-SLP

No more pencils. No more books. No more teachers Dirty looks.

School is over. School is done. We can stop learning And start having fun.

This was the springtime schoolhouse mantra of my youth. The sounds and sightings of songbirds, along with the slowly lengthening and warming days, always got me riled up and ready for that final bell of the school year. I could hardly wait for the long lazy days of summer.

As a parent, the onset of summer has a much different feeling. It is more foreboding than fun. With the end of the school year and the long hot days of summer approaching, I find myself trying to figure out how to end the “stop learning” part of the rhyme but still keep the “having fun” part.

I read a statistic once that claimed teachers spend the first three weeks of the new school year re-teaching skills lost to the average student over the summer. That is a lot of time spent reviewing old material instead of introducing the new curriculum.

Ways To Keep Literacy Skills Sharp

To help combat this seemingly inevitable loss of skills while still allowing kids to have fun, I created some strategies which can be built into the great things most families already do in the summer. I even threw in a few math, history, geography and science ideas as well!

1. Read aloud for at least 15 minutes a day to your child. 

• For toddlers choose brief board books that rhyme, have rhythm and repetitive phrases. Sandra Boynton is one of my favorite authors for toddlers. http://www.sandraboynton.com/sboynton/Introduction.html 
• For preschoolers try longer picture books. Go to www.readwme.com for a great selection. 
• For school-aged kids read chapter books, the newspaper, comic books and magazine articles, whatever they like. Encourage them to read to themselves as well. Heck, it could even be the back of the cereal box.

2.  Written scavenger hunts are a fun way to keep kids active and work on literacy. Use simple lists for little ones and add pictures to help them decipher the print.

 

   3.  Create a map of your family road trips (for older kids use actual maps). Have kids read the names of the town they are going to or passing through. Add points of interest on the way even if it is just “grandma’s house.” Add miles to help work on math skills. Have them figure out how long to the next stop or how far you have already driven.

4. Take the time to read the signs. Signs are everywhere at playgrounds, on roads, amusement parks, in shop windows. When driving keep an eye out for those blue metal historical site markers, pull over and read them to infuse a little history.

5.  Shopping is a great way to teach. Give your child a few dollars and head to the nearest farmers’ market or garage sale. Read the signs and encourage them to figure out what they can buy with the money they have.

6.  Cooking is a great way to impart a little science, math and reading all at once. Buy some unusual produce at the market or even better, pick from the garden you planted together and find a recipe online or in a cookbook to make new delicacies for lunch or dinner.

     
     7. Explore museums or even the zoo (it’s usually less busy when it rains). Many museums are free or have good deals for kids. Try a nearby university to see if they have an on-campus museum. Spend time talking about the descriptive plaques or signs. You can even find self-guided tour apps for your smartphone for some museums and zoos. Bring along a sketch pad and pencils and spend some time recreating the art or draw the animals. The Cleveland Museum of Art http://www.clevelandart.org/ and others have little stools you can carry so you can sit and draw!

   
     8.   Make an Experience Book which is a photo album documenting the day. While out on an adventure or when having a fun day, take photographs of all you do. You can make a homemade one or use services like Snapfish www.snapfish.com/ or Shutterfly www.shutterfly.com. Label the pictures with words and captions if you’d like.

There are endless ways to support your child’s literacy skills throughout the dog days of Summer. Your kids will be having so much fun they won’t even know they are learning. List your ideas in the comment sections.

Learning Toys Not Required: Experience is the Best Teacher

Elizabeth Redhead Kriston, MS/CCC-SLP

Why don’t we give ourselves more credit in the role we play in teaching our children all they know? So many of us have been convinced by the relentless advertising of toy companies that market their products as “learning toys” that we are not equipped to teach our kids the skills they need to succeed.

Trust me when I say that your child or student is not really learning her colors and numbers from a talking robot toy or an electronic book. How could they? The concept of “blue,” for example, goes so far beyond that singular representation of the toy that says “blue” when the blue button is pushed.

“Blue” takes on many shapes and shades. One cannot truly understand “blue” until they touch it, taste it, see it, smell it and even hear it. 

We need our five senses to accurately learn concepts. We need to use all our experiences to know “blue” it all its forms. A blue sky is different from a blueberry which is different from a bluebird and so on. So why do we buy into the notion that a light up blue button or the one dimensional photographs of things that are blue can teach the concept of that very diverse color?

Take Back Control and You Be the Teacher!

Advertisers have done a brilliant job of capitalizing on our society’s need to make sure our kids are prepared for school. They make toys for infants through preschool that claim to teach our kids what they need to be school ready. They have made us believe that we need them. They have helped us forget that by just being with, talking to and reading to our children we are the ones that are actually teaching these concepts. Life is the teacher not the toys.

So, I say we need to take back our power and give ourselves the credit we deserve. We are our children’s first and best teachers. With a little attention and time we can teach our kids anything. By using all five senses in our daily lives we learn new concepts and words efficiently and easily. Simply by talking to children about the things they see and do, we help them put meaning to what they are experiencing. This gets stored away in the brain. Then, the more they encounter same or similar things the more easily they can access or remember the concepts. Viola, they learned! It is not hard it just takes practice and sometimes a little creative thinking. It is free and no batteries are required.

Simple and Free Ways to Teach Concepts

1.      Talk, talk, talk. Talk to the child in your life all day about the things she sees and does. Use real words. Be specific. You do not have to simplify your words. Little brains can and will learn “big” words.

2.      Move your body. Active little toddlers can learn while they move. Add words to your actions to teach verbs. Play Follow the Leader, dance or just go for a walk.

3.      Play with your child. We assume that if we hand a kid a toy he will know what to do with it. This can be true in some cases, but most kids need models. Get on the floor and let your inner child out. Use words to describe your play and show your child how to be creative with toys.

4.      Work. Include your child in your household chores. Cooking, laundry and dusting are great times to teach all types of vocabulary and concepts. Think of all the senses that are involved with cooking. You can teach colors, textures, tastes, smells and sounds. Descriptive words will dominate your vocabulary in these tasks.

5.      Choices. Giving a young child a choice of what to wear or eat is a fantastic opportunity for teaching words and concepts. If you choose your child’s outfit they miss out on lots of learning opportunities. Instead, ask him if he wants to wear the red shirt or the blue sweater. Show him his choices as you ask. Now you have taught him four concepts in one easy task (sweater, shirt, blue and red!)

6.      Interactive reading. Take story time beyond the quiet captivating experience it tends to be and make it active. Add toys or movement to reading time. Ask non-threatening “wh” questions to encourage critical thinking and vocabulary recall. Talk about the pictures, go beyond the text. Use pictures, toys or flashcards to expand and extend the story. Believe it or not, books can be made even better.

There are so many ways to engage and teach children. Resist the solitary fabricated experience battery operated toys offer. Realize that you are your child’s best teacher and that you, whether your try to or not, actually teach your child those “school ready” skills. Even better, you do not require batteries

The Joy of Sharing Books

By: Elizabeth Redhead Kriston, MS/CCC-SLP

I never know what will inspire me to write a story. Sometimes it can be a need that I feel should be fulfilled as when I wrote Pants on Ants. Sometimes it is a something a child says. Or, in the case of Raincoats and Rainbows it is a real life experience. Several years ago my girls were still little and riding their bicycles up and down the street wearing their bathing suits. After a while they had to add raincoats to their attire as it started to sprinkle and then rain heavily. It was a typical summer shower which cleared quickly. As the sun peaked through the clouds in the West, a brilliant rainbow appeared in the Eastern sky. They, being kids focused on the singular task of riding bikes, were oblivious to the beautiful painting in the sky. I called to them, but they could not hear me over their talk and the traffic. As I admired the stunning arc of colorful light, I thought to myself a simple thought, really it was more of an observation: “raincoats and rainbows.”

That was an “ah-hah” moment as Oprah would say. I ran inside and began to write what would become my fourth published children’s book. This was a departure from my usual writing as I did not rely on rhyme to tell my story. Rather, I used questions and real life experiences that nearly all children could relate to as the way to draw readers in and keep them interested in the story. This book became a participatory story where the child and adult reader could expand the story by engaging one another in conversation as they answered the questions and added their own life experiences to the dialogue. I envisioned beautiful illustrations with fun little surprises that would add layers of conversational opportunities and vocabulary learning. I built in repetitive phrases/questions to aid young readers in learning to read through memorization and prediction. I believed that this book would make a difference by not only entertaining kids, but teaching them without them feeling like they were being taught.

Fast forward several years later, my publisher saw the same potential as I and we worked over the course of two years looking for the best illustrator and putting this book together. We went back and forth on small changes in the text and ultimately ended up with a gem of a book. Once it was printed and in my hands, I could not wait to share it with children and families. I started by using it with some of the children I work with. They responded perfectly. They hunted for the hidden frog added by the illustrator Gary Morgan. They answered the questions and then expanded upon the answers provided in the book by contributing their own experiences or wishful thoughts.

It was not until I took the book to a public setting that I knew I had truly accomplished my goal. I was invited to read my book at two venues on April 11, 2015. First was the Gallitzin Public Library. Here several children from the ages of a few months to about eight years old joined me for a book reading. The children loved hunting for the hidden frog and excitedly raised their hands in order to answer the questions. My heart was full because not only did I get to see some old friends, but my book had inspired them in the way I had hoped. Later, I went to the Galleria of Johnstown and read my story to about eight young elementary school aged children. These kids had the same response. Once they realized that the illustrations and the text reflected their own life experiences, they were hooked. They became engaged and gave examples of what they like to do on icy days or snowy days or sunny days. It was confirmation that a well written and beautifully illustrated book can create novel learning and teaching opportunities for all involved.

I am so lucky to not only be able to write books that get published, but to share my books with children in schools, libraries, malls, and numerous other settings. I think reading my books to children is by far the best part of writing books. Take the time to read to children of all ages, you won’t regret it.

Buy Books at
www.dynamic-resources.org

Reading to the Reluctant Toddler

By: Elizabeth Redhead Kriston, MS/CCC-SLP

“Carter won’t sit for stories. He just wants to turn the pages and toss the book. I don’t even leave books out for him because he rips them when I am not looking.” This lament is heard over and over from the parents of reluctant toddlers. They want to share books with their tots but struggle with making story time productive. 

Having worked with this age group for over fifteen years I have devised some strategies that really work. We know how important it is to read to our young kids. Some research even supports starting to read to them while they are in the womb. However, knowing that we should read and making reading time enjoyable and productive can be two very different things.

If your family is anything like mine, you have at least one kid who can’t get enough time with books, that precocious child who brings books constantly, thrusting them at you to get you to read to them. Often times they gravitate to just one book. In my house it was Go Dog Go by Dr. Seuss. I read that book so many times that just seeing a dog in a car makes me breakout into a sweat. As much as I grew to loathe that book, after our thrice daily readings for months on end, I realized that by participating in this ritual, which my daughter insisted upon, she learned to read at the young age of three.
         
Conversely, my second child abhorred reading. Even to this day, she struggles with finding a love for books. She knows she should read. She gushes to all that will listen about her mother, the author. She is surrounded by books and people who read. Yet, she cannot find the passion within. 

It is frustrating that my daughter cannot find joy from reading, from immersing herself into the lives and places and fantasies that books offer. I wish I knew then what I know now. When she was an infant and toddler I could have done more to make books tempting and not so intimidating. If I had, I’d like to think she would be more enamored with the written word.
          
If you have a young child who refuses to read, I offer you these suggestions as a way to make books appealing or at least nonthreatening.

1. Start young. With my first child who was a bit fussy and needed to be held in the BabyBjorn carrier, I read to her from the complete works of Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne as we walked in circles around the house. She was a captive audience and too young to comment on the complexity of the book. 
2. Choose age appropriate books.  As she got older and calmed a bit, we moved toward brief stories offered in sturdy board books. Our favorite was But Not the Hippopotamus by Sandra Boynton. 
3. Contain again. Once your little ones get more active, seize the opportunities to read to them as they are naturally contained. For example, if they are in the highchair for mealtime, read to them. Bath time is a good time too if they are safely seated in a bath chair or can sit up without your support (you might want to choose vinyl books for this suggestion). 
4. Read to them while they are playing quietly. As your child stacks blocks, puts a puzzle together, or pushes her trains around the track, sit nearby and read. It is OK if they are not snuggled in on your lap. The words and concepts they are exposed to while being read to are invaluable for their brain development. Chances are they will become curious and sneak over to take a peek. Not to mention that taking away the expectation that they must sit for a story makes it less combative and more natural for them. 
5. Be silly and expressive when you read. The more animation and intonation you use, the more you will draw your child into the story. They will want to participate with the book and you if it is fun. 
6. Pair toys with the book. Read books that contain your child’s favorite TV or movie characters and bring out the toys you bought them (you know you have Paw Patrol and Thomas the Tank Engine toys in the toy box) and act out the stories. Or, gather some toys for a favorite picture book and incorporate them as you read. When story time becomes play time, kids are more apt to attend and interact.
   

My biggest point of pride comes from using these suggestions while reading my book Pants on Ants. This story has just enough silly in it to keep the attention of any reluctant toddler when read with lots of emotion and animation. In fact, numerous times upon bringing it out in a therapy session I was told by a parent, “My child will not sit for stories.” I accepted that challenge and read to the child in spite of that warning. The first reading usually started with the child across the room playing with his favorite truck. After the second or third page, he was peeking over the top of the book to see the illustrations. Eventually, he ended up in my lap as I finished the book. 

Then we pulled out the flashcards from the pocket in the book. We named and talked about the pictures. All the while, mom looked stunned at what just happened. Then the most amazing thing occurred, the child requested the book to be read again and again. By just reading the book incorporating a few of the strategies listed above, the toddler went from a reluctant reader to actively participating and requesting a story. This scenario happens nearly every time I share a book with a child no matter how resistant they have been to books in the past.

The list is not exhaustive, I am sure you have lots of good ideas too. I hope you share them with us in the comments section. Just remember, if we make story time fun; if we choose books that are developmentally appropriate; and if we read daily to our kids, they may not learn to love books, but they will become smarter. No matter what, do not ever give up on teaching your child to love a good story.

Adoption Myths and Truths: Why Aren’t More Families Adopting

By Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

It has been reported that though more than 1/3 of American families have considered adoption only 2% have actually fulfilled this dream. Why do so few families follow through? It is not the lack of children waiting for homes. Each year over 300,000 children become available for adoption in the foster care system. Why is it so hard for so many loving children to find forever families?

http://facts.randomhistory.com/adoption-facts.html

My sense is that the reason lies somewhere between poor information, unanswered questions, and the perpetuation of myths surrounding the adoption process. The media can be thanked for the latter. Misery sells. Because of that truth and the fact that news is business, the stories that are featured on our favorite morning news programs or fill the ticker tape scrolls on our 24 hour news channels often are stories of loss and pain not of joy.

As with all news stories, we are more likely to be fed information about horrible adoption stories gone wrong. We hear about children torn from the arms of their loving families only to be returned to their birth parents or relatives. We rarely hear about the tens of thousands of adoptions that go right. Our delicate sense of right and wrong and our fear that we will be on the receiving end of injustice and heartache must keep many from pursuing adoption.

Then there are the other issues that we perceive to be roadblocks to adoption, especially the adoption of domestic foster children. We think the cost is out of reach. We think the children will have emotional, educational, and/or medical needs beyond our scope of comfort. We think we won’t love them as much as biological children, or worse they won’t love us. We think we are not good enough to be allowed to adopt. We think we are too old, too poor, work too much, or that our sexual orientation will bring the process to a halt. We feel overwhelmed by the paperwork and the process as a whole. In short, there are too many barriers both real and conceived to allow many would be adopted parents step up and make their family complete.

My hope is that the number of families who say yes to adoption increases. My hope is that more children waiting for their forever families find them. To make this possible I have decided to share my journey with adoption as a way to bust some of the myths by revealing the truths. As I address these myths and truths in future blogs, I hope you will share your story as well. We need to support one another through the maze of adoption and make it less scary for those who are considering the process for themselves.

You can contact me via my website www.redheadkriston.com