Bad Habit, Good Habit

By: Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

Bad Habit in a Habit

It’s nearly mid-February and most of us have long abandoned our New Year’s resolutions. I’m still hanging on to mine, but it is by a thread.

Each night I prepare for bed by taking my old lady meds and moisturizing so I don’t completely dry-up and blow away as my electric heater and ceiling fan simultaneously suck the moisture from the bedroom. I rub clary sage oil on my feet to ward off the night sweats that have begun to plague me. Recently, I have added writing my gratitudes in a journal. This ensures I fall asleep feeling good about my life even on the most trying of days. I have been doing this for about six weeks. That means it's now a permanent habit. Right?

This made me consider, “Why is starting new habits so hard?” Changing behaviors and adding in new habits most often revolve around the need to better ourselves, improve our mental or physical health, and/or boost our career, family, and personal lives. If it's all for the good, why is it so dang difficult to make the changes we seek permanent?

It seems we can start a bad habit instantaneously. Much like when I started smoking at a much too young age. The drag on that first cigarette hooked me. Twenty-five years and a thousand attempts later, I finally kicked that nasty habit cold turkey. Well actually, I kicked that habit thanks to my toddler who I could no longer leave unattended while a snuck a smoke in the basement. Inconvenience, willpower, and cinnamon gum made that change possible.

When researching how long it takes to form new habits I discovered that cinnamon gum is rarely the answer to ending or starting most habits. Some have claimed that it takes just 21 days of repetition to start a new habit. However a study showed (see the link above) the actual time varies between 18-254 days with the average being 66 days. Or, in laymen’s terms, it takes as long as it takes.

I suppose motivation, memory, and willpower have much to do with the success of starting or stopping a habit. For example, I want to lose weight. I am motivated by visions of myself wearing new clothes and a swimsuit with confidence. I can’t always remember that I want to lose weight or why. When I see that glass of wine and creamy seafood pasta, I decide that life is too short to deprive myself of the things I really love. Then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I suddenly remember why I want to lose weight and my resolve returns. It’s a losing cycle of disappointment and pleasure.

Funnily, when I decided to have chocolate after a meal that habit formed instantaneously. Much like the chemicals in my once beloved cigarettes the compounds in chocolate are thought trigger the pleasure centers of the brain and boom, it is a habit.

Habits to make or break:

Break: Losing my patience with my kids. Seriously, the yelling needs to stop.

Make: Journal nightly. It really does help to keep life in perspective. Give it a try

Make: Eat healthy for every meal. When I eat well I feel so much better. 

Break: Drinking wine. Let's face it as long as I have kids, I'm drinking wine

Make: Save money. Let's face it, as long as I have kids, there will be no saving money.

Break: Watching TV instead of reading. No explanation necessary, I hope.

Make: Write daily. Practice makes perfect or so some nun told me.

Make: Meditation. I'm pretty sure the meme says it all...

Make: More hugs. Because hugs heal. Plus they are awesome

Break: Listening to the news. I need more positivity in my life, don't you?

So, whether it takes 18 or 254 days, I will continue to try and make and break the habits on my list. Like I tell my girls, don’t start things that you hope to stop. Starting is always easier than stopping.