By: Elizabeth Redhead Kriston
“No! I won’t do it!” the child shouted with the conviction
only a toddler can muster. Though his mind was made up, his mom attempted to
get him to acquiesce and picked him up. Then, he did that thing that only people
his age can, his muscles turned to Jell-O and he slithered out of her arms
morphing into a puddle of skin and bones at her feet.
That mom had not yet learned a valuable life lesson: Weak
people need to feel powerful. If she just tweaked her
interactions with him slightly, he would most likely do
whatever she wanted.
Before becoming a mom and needing that bit of wisdom to
survive my own toddlers' behaviors, I inadvertently learned that lesson as a 16
year old.
6 Ways to Make the Weak Feel Powerful
- Trust your Gut
- Read the Situation
- Anticipate their needs and be prepared
- Pick Your Battles
- Simplify things
- Eliminate Uncertainty
Trust Your Gut
Working as a clerk at a European pastry shop, Desserts Delicious Patisserie, on the busiest
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Cedar Lee Theater in Cleveland Heights, OH |
All evening the phone rang. Each time I pressed the handset to my ear, all I heard was an eerie silence followed by a dead tone. Infuriated, I thought, “I have no time for this rude,
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Click here for a recipe but use mousse not pudding |
Prior to going to work that night, I had a nagging feeling
that my purse would be stolen. Listening to my gut, I removed everything,
except for my house keys, before leaving home.
Read the Situation
The clock struck eleven p.m. It was time to close. As usual, my coworkers and I had started some of
the closing tasks early. Char took her cash drawer to the dank and cavernous
basement to count the money and place it in the safe.
I was busy carrying the ten gallon tubs of Pierre’s ice cream
down to the walk in freezer, a
miserable chore, when I heard a scuffle upstairs.
Anthony was upstairs alone locking the front door after the last stragglers
left for their next destination, home or the Tavern Co. bar on the corner.
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Go to website |
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| The Tavern Co. in Cleveland Heights, Ohio |
When I came up the basement steps and turned the corner into the kitchen where our pastry chefs worked their magic on luscious Belgian dark chocolate mousse, gooey brownies, and flaky, buttery croissant, I saw a sight that took a few moments for my brain to interpret.
Shoved up against the door jamb a wide eyed Anthony struggled
with a creepily disfigured man who held a knife to his neck. This man obscured
his identity by smearing his black skin with a thick coat of pancake makeup
intended for a pale white woman. The effect was terrifying.
Frozen in place with my mouth agape, I was spotted and
ordered to “get over here.” As I entered the front of the café, I saw that the
white faced black man had a partner. He chose the more typical robber wear. He
had stuffed his head and face into a woman's nylon stocking tying
the top in a large
knot giving it the appearance of a tasseled cap worn by skiers or Shriners. He
did not wield a knife. Instead, he held his hand inside of his jean jacket suggesting a hidden handgun.
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About Shriners |
Anticipate Their Needs and Be Prepared
I was ordered to empty the register of all its contents which I did, obediently. When told to empty the second register, I panicked because the money was downstairs with Char. I told them it was gone. They demanded to know where it was. At that time, I started to gather myself. I recognized that these men were weaker than they appeared. I knew I needed to take control of the situation to keep things from getting ugly.
They noticed my hesitation. The guy who held Anthony in a choke hold with a knife wiggled the it against his neck to indicate he meant business. It was then I noticed that he pressed the dull side of the knife to Anthony's neck. In that moment, I knew that we would be okay. The other guy did not really have a gun and knife guy was not capable of hurting Anthony.
Pick Your Battles
I begrudgingly lead the way to the basement where Char sat
with a pile of cash oblivious to the robbery. We made our way
through the kitchen and then down the steps with me acting as the grand marshal
of this bizarre parade.
As we descended the steps, I shouted to Char to give me the
money. She looked up from her dark corner and asked why, and then stopped,
stunned. She saw the thieves and froze. They sprang to the desk, took all
the envelopes, and ordered us back upstairs.
Though the thieves had what they came for, they did not leave. I
recognized this as a pivotal moment. They had not planned an exit. This could
mean bad things for Anthony, Char and me. I knew I needed to end this, but do it
in such a way that they felt in control or someone would get hurt.
Eliminate Uncertainty/Simplify Things
The words came out of my mouth before I thought them. I said
with a quivering voice, “Alright we are going to face the wall and get on the
floor. You are going to leave and we aren’t going to move until we count to
ten.” My words were echoed by one of these bungling burglars shouting, “Yeah, turn around! Get on the floor. Don’t move until you count to ten.”
The next thing I knew the door bells jingled and things were
quiet except for Anthony's whispered counting. As soon as ten was uttered, I
picked up the phone and dialed the operator and asked her, “How do I call
9-1-1?” I guess my cool, calm, collected self dissolved into my brain numb and
scared self.
The cops came and did their cop stuff. It was then I
realized that the thieves stole my empty purse. Hah! The joke was on them.
The two main things I learned that day were:
1) Always trust your gut.
2) Making weak
people feel smart and strong will always serve you well.
My toddlers never had a chance!
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