Taking Time to Enjoy the View From the Ship You Captain

Ahoy 

Life for me the last few weeks has been harder than usual. Truth be told, the last year has walloped me good.

I tend to be a "see the glass as half-full" kind of girl, but the stress is starting to drain my wine glass. I need that wine, a Cup of Joe just won't do!

Of course, the day to day challenges seem so much more insurmountable with bigger stressors looming. It's hard to care much about the fact that the washing machine leaks when your father-in-law is fighting for his life. It seems trivial to care that the gifts are not wrapped when your family is fighting the flu at Christmas. What's more important, making sure you kid does her chores, or helping her learn to read better so she can study for her tests?

The last two weeks have really pushed me to the bow of my family's ship as I pondered it all while splicing the main brace. My younger daughter's health-needs peaked during the height of my older daughter's track season and my husband's busy work season. My own work demands vacillated from being too little to too much. It all took the wind out of my sails and I felt myself drowning, or maybe I was just three sheets to the wind.

Being a mom has a special burden that I do not think dads feel (at least that's what my husband tells me). My husband is a wonderful partner who cooks, grocery shops, cleans the bathroom, and takes the kids to the doctor. He does all of this because he knows that was the bargain when he said "I do." I expect my life partner to be just that, a partner. We are in this together or their might be "the devil to pay."

I am grateful to have his help, but let's face it, I sit in the crow's nest and at the helm. I still have to plan the meals, make the grocery lists, schedule the appointments and remind him to scrub the head. Nearly everything that every person in this family does is orchestrated or managed by me. I oversee the log book. Why, because somebody has to have watch over this ship, or it will sink. 

More times than not, in the family dynamic, the mom is the captain. Sometimes a mom's leadership is inconspicuous. In my case, I am "in their face" in-charge! At least that's the scuttlebutt.

Though it might not seem like it, I am not complaining. I am simply framing the demands in my life. They probably sound a lot like the things that overwhelm you from time to time too.

I the face of all of the chaos and stress, I try to remember to take care of myself to lessen my tendency to feel blue. I learned along time ago that I need wind for my sails. I force myself to take time for me. Otherwise, I might feel listless and be tempted to walk the plank.

Before I feel the need to call mayday, I try to make myself feel hunky-dorey. I know the ropes so I thought I would share them with you

Ten Ways to Manage Feeling Between the Devil and the Deep :

1. Take a walk without music. Listen, smell, feel, and see all the beauty around you. Breath in the fresh air and appreciate the sun or wind or rain or snow that touches your skin. Moving your body and being out of doors is healing and recharging.
2. Read a good book. Getting lost in a journey or a place or a great character's life is so amazing. It takes you away from your reality even if it is just for a few minutes.
3. Cook and eat healthy, delicious food. Planning and preparing nutritious meals makes you feel like you have accomplished something wonderful for you and your family. Going to the farmers market or growing your own food keeps you in touch with where food comes from and will open you up to trying new things.
4. Take a nap or at least close your eyes and rest. I try to do this outside as much as possible. I tune out the traffic noises and listen for the birds and wind. I let my thoughts wander but don't pay attention to them. You can also meditate.
5. Spend time with friends. Talk on the phone. Meet for a coffee or glass of wine. Even Snapchat has been a fun way to make me and someone else smile.
6. Spend time near water. My entire life water has soothed and calmed me. Whenever I am near water I feel my breath return when I hadn't even realized I was holding it. The effects are long lasting and undeniable. Check this out https://www.theguardian.com/sustainable-business/impact-sea-lakes-rivers-peoples-health
7. Hug and talk to your family. Put away devices and really listen and attend to what they are telling you (this is harder than it sounds).
8. Make sure you partner has time to recharge. Tell him or her to go and do something they love.
9. Go someplace you have never been. Find a new park or museum. Walk through a neighborhood you've never visited. Go to new restaurant and try a new delicacy.
10. Look at memorabilia. I love spending time reminiscing and thinking about all the people, places, and adventures that I have been lucky enough to be shaped by. I still make photo albums.

My ship was a bit listless this year but I am determined to keep her sea worthy and on course.I can fathom smooth sailing from here on out. We all encounter rough seas, we just need to keep our head above the water and stand on the bow as we journey, enjoying each and every view.

Thanks for letting me chew the fat.

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