When my boss offered to schedule me off on Tuesday's this past Summer so I could spend more time with my girls, I supposed it would be like years past when I would ask them to accompany me on some mini adventure and they would roll their collective eyeballs at me and retreat to their separate rooms isolating themselves from the outside world and me within the thick plaster walls behind heavy wooden doors.
This year I took a different tack, I didn't ask. Instead, I planned our Tuesday adventures and then rounded them up, and, for lack of a more fitting word, forced them to tag along. I wouldn't say our Tuesday's resembled Mitch Alboms, Tuesdays with Morrie, but I haven't read that book so maybe they were. I just wanted to find a way to connect with my rapidly growing and maturing daughters before they no longer have the time to make time for me. Maybe, through experiences, I could even teach them a thing or two.
“Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it." From Tuesdays with Morrie
Once my girls relented to my plan, were able to keep their eyes forward and stop huffing and puffing in disgust, I liked to think that they had fun. I did not prophetize at them. Instead I just tried to remain calm and push-on no matter what obstacle we faced in each day. I tried to remain positive and point out all the good things, rather than focus on the negatives, and we had a lot of things go wrong.
The Lessons of Our Summer
June 7, Windmere Island, Bahamas
My daughters learned that 14 hours of difficult and exhausting travel will be rewarded. They learned that the type of tired that makes bones and brain ache can be instantaneously alleviated by eating hot dogs on soft, pink sand beaches while feeling the setting sun kiss their cheeks and soft breezes ruffle their hair while staring at crystal clear waters of so many shades of blue you question your definitions of blue and ocean.
June 13, Windemere Island, Bahamas
My daughters learned that even a week in paradise can be hard. They learned how to make lemons from lemonade. They learned how to snorkel in rough waters. They learned how to kick the crap out of a rental car as you try to beat the bumper back in place after crashing it for the third time in a week. They learned how take cold showers on the beach and flush toilets with buckets of water. They learned how, no matter what, to be thankful for a sky full of stars so plentiful and so bright that you get dizzy looking up at them.
June 20, Philedelphia Street, Indiana, Pennsylvania
One daughter learned how to weasel her way out of a day with her mom. One daughter learned how to make a fun day out of spending time on main street. She learned how to window shop and that "no, we are not buying actual windows." She learned how to sip a coffee rather than gulp it. She learned the value of shopping local businesses and making small talk with shop owners and our neighbors.
June 27, Gatlinburg, Tennessee
My daughters learned that even after a year or two of separation, you can reconnect with loved ones as they spent a week with extended family in the mountains of Tennessee.
July 4, Backyard, Indiana, Pennsylvania
My daughters learned that spending time at home doing chores and cooking out with the parents is "fun." They learned how to weed the garden and cut the grass. They learned that family traditions, even small ones, are so important as we sat on the roof and watched the fireworks that filled the sky around us once again.
July 11, Seven Springs Mountain Resort, Champion, Pennsylvania
My daughters learned that even rain and cold can't keep us down, but a sleepless night can. They learned that facing ones fears is important and possible even it is not pretty as they watched their mother cry, shake and sweat as I rode the ski lift to the top of a mountain despite my paralyzing fear of heights.
“Accept who you are; and revel in it.” From Tuesdays with Morrie
July 18, Blue Spruce Park, Indiana, Pennsylvania
My daughters learned that despite arguing and complaining all the way there that we can have fun if we choose to just let go of our anger. That by not responding to the hurtful things we say to each other even the most irrational statements and claims can pass and we can have fun together. They learned if we take a moment to look around and listen, we can see the beauty in what is around us and in each other. They learned that the ride home can be filled with blaring music and asynchronous voices filling the car as we sing pop songs and laugh.
“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you’re bound to do something else.” From Tuesdays with Morrie
July 25 Saltsburg River Trail and West Penn Trail , Saltsburg, Pennsylvania
My daughters learned that discovering new places is amazing. They learned that getting lost can be stressful, but ultimately, Maddie has an excellent sense of direction and she can get us home no matter what. Seriously, that girl should be a professional compass for a living, she has mad skills.
August 1 Ohiopyle, Pennsylvania
My daughters learned how an abundance of rain can make a body of water violent and unusable. They learned to deal with disappointment. They learned how to make lemonade from lemons. They discovered another new place as we biked a beautiful path in the woods along a river. They learned that they should put bug spray on when their mother suggests it would be "a really good idea and they might regret it if they don't." Oh, who am I kidding? They will never learn to listen to and accept my wisdom.
August 8, Home Alone, Indiana, PA
They learned to miss me terribly, and our Tuesday adventures.
August 15 Delgrosso Amusement Park, Tipton, Pennsylvania
My daughters learned that their mother is awesome because she took them to a fun water park to celebrate the last Tuesday before school started. I learned that my kids have no stamina and that spending gobs of money on an amusement park is crazy because they want to leave after a few hours.
I am grateful for having a summer of adventures big and small with my daughters. I learned so much about them and from them. Maybe they are my Morrie. They make me live a better life.
“As you grow, you learn more. Aging is not just decay…it’s growth. It’s more than the negative that you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand that you’re going to die, and that you live a better life because of it.” From Tuesdays with Morrie
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