Eating Healthy Ruined My Life

By Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

Having received a generous gift card, I found myself staring at the menu at Red Lobster feeling slightly nauseous at the prospect of eating any of the food described and pictured in the lengthy and elaborate menu. Meanwhile, my husband and kids were buzzing with excitement as they tried to narrow down their selections to just one main dish.

Click here for menu

Why couldn’t I be excited about eating lobster 8 ways with a side of fried shrimp and diving into steaming hot, flaky, cheddar biscuits?

For my kids, it was a rare treat, eating at a chain restaurant. For the last several years, I have steered clear of all national chains whenever possible. I prefer to eat at locally owned restaurants where the food tends to be homemade, and a bit fresher and healthier.

I grew up eating Velveeta cheese and drinking gallons of Lipton Iced Tea (the kind made from scooping heaps of brown tinted sugar crystals into a half gallon pitcher and adding water). Mom did cook other things but Velveeta and Ice tea were the mainstays of my childhood diet

Velveeta was often times the star of the dish.

Ways we ate Velveeta:

1. Homemade mac and cheese made from a sauce of cubed Velveeta, milk, butter, and salt, pepper and garlic powder. Drizzle the sauce over cooked pasta shells, toss and eat by the bowl full several times a week.

2. Smother vegetables with melted Velveeta (can use same sauce recipe above).

3. Melt Velveeta between pan toasted, buttered, white bread.

4. Cube Velveeta into salads of diced Red Delicious apples, walnuts, and toss in  lots of miracle whip.

5. Slice Velveeta using a specialized wheeled cheese cutter and enjoy. 

6. Click for more Velveeta recipe ideas.

Mom did cook homemade foods. Her specialties were pork chops, roasted chicken, spaghetti, and roast beef. The vegetables that were paired with these home-style meals were things like canned creamed corn, the above-mentioned Velveeta soaked broccoli or cauliflower, potatoes, or really well boiled lima beans swimming in butter.

When mom did not cook, we ate bags of fish sticks, boxes of cream chipped beef over toast, lots of Stouffers French bread pizzas, and of course, my favorite Swanson frozen pot pies. 

I loved all of these things and thought my mom was the world’s best cook

My palate began to evolve once I started working in bakeries and restaurants where I discovered fish that was not breaded and fried, and tender filet mignon. My true dietary metamorphosis began when I moved to California.

What is Filet Mignon

I remember going to the grocery store to buy my beloved Velveeta and discovered it in the center aisles with the canned goods, not in the coolers with the other cheese and dairy items. I was aghast! No, I was stunned at the ineptitude of the store managers! They needed to get this fine cheese into the cooler immediately or scads of customers would surely die from some yet to be named Velveeta brain eating bacteria.

I raced home breathless with worry and reported the travesty to my vegetarian roommates. They laughed at me wrongly thinking I was being ironic. When they recognized the confusion and ignorance that my face could not hide, they pointed out to me that Velveeta was not real cheese. It was actually “cheez” a term coined to differentiate whole foods from processed foods. 

They even spelled it for me, C-H-E-E-Z. Then they explained that the chemicals that made-up my beloved Velveeta did not need to be refrigerated and could probably survive with the cockroaches in a nuclear blast.

Click here to learn more about Velveeta

Overtime, I became an annoying food snob.

My husband and I started eating at high end restaurants comparing and contrasting food quality and preparations. My husband took up the hobby of cooking and turned into a wonderful home-cook. He baked fresh breads, learned to make the perfect steak, and even mastered the art of slow cooked spaghetti sauce. He spoiled me with ever more difficult dishes and perfected several of Julia Child's more complex preparations. We were well fed and growing fat with our butter soak meals and good wine.

That all came to an abrupt halt as my health took an unexpected turn.

Progressively, I became ill and nauseated. I no longer could enjoy the beautiful meals offered to me. Eventually, my illness hospitalized me briefly. After many tests over many months I discovered I had developed every foodie’s most dreaded ailment, gluten intolerance.

Click here for more info on Gluten Intolerance

Click here to read more about my journey to becoming Gluten Free

That nasty protein, gluten, wreaked havoc on my digestive system and made food my enemy.

Once I accepted my condition and my fate of never eating delicious crusty chewy bread or luscious pasta again, I sought out alternatives. We learned to cook differently. No more canned soups or stocks for us. We became more adventurous with the vegetables. We ate more salads with homemade salad dressings. Fried foods became less and less part of our diet. It got to a point where I could not eat potato chips unless they were baked. Our palates evolved and became more accepting of the flavor of real foods.

My body started craving healthy, fresh, nutritious foods.

No longer able to enjoy the salty, fatty, processed foods many chain restaurants offer, we eat at home much more. Even my kids and husband who were super excited about Red Lobster took a few bites of their fried and butter soaked meals and started to turn a bit “green in the gills” as they say. We took the leftovers home and they sat untouched for a week stinking-up the fridge as we reached around them for the lettuce and apples satisfying the craving for healthy foods over convenience.

Thanks to eating healthy I can no longer enjoy all those iconic American eateries. Perhaps it didn't really ruin my life, but traveling by car would be so much easier if I could stomach the fare at Cracker Barrel.