Spring is Hair: A Dog's Tail

By Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

With Spring upon us I look forward to warmer days and a sun that shines well into the evening hours. The longer days bring more energy and the urge to make closed-up dusty homes fresh and clean, and the drive to become active to make our bodies strong and trim after months of being cramped-up indoors under blankets while binge watching every show that popped up in our "suggestions for you” queue on Netflix.

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After prying the remote controls from our hands and peeling our lazy bodies from the sofa, we throw open the windows and grab our cleaning supplies. We work hard trying to coax dust bunnies into dust bins and polish away the film that Winter left behind on every surface. We scour, scrub, sweep, and sponge until our homes gleam and sparkle transforming them from the dim dwellings of the last few months into fragrant show places.

As we luxuriate in our sweet-smelling, glimmering homes we notice from the corner of our eye the dog. Banished to the confines of the yard as we cleaned for the last few hours, now she races toward the open door heading right for that freshly mopped floor.  

We conveniently forgot about the old saying “April showers bring May flowers" and the lesser known one “March is a muddy mess of melted gray snow and all the crap that has been hiding beneath it!” Yes, I made that saying up, but you know it’s true.

Your dog, who has been feeling just as housebound as you, left the house filled with Spring fever relishing the warmer sun and fresh air. Never concerned with cleanliness, she channeled her puppy-like energy into trivial pursuits like rolling in bunny turds, digging up the garden, and burrowing in the shrubs to find moles. Her Spring time traditions are decidedly less tidy.

The result of all this outdoor frolicking is that the dog, who boasted snow white fur a few hours ago, is currently a dark brown as she is caked in mud and filth and rabbit poo. Even worse, she has nearly reached the opening in the door you inadvertently left ajar.

Time slows as you move toward the door yelling "NOOOO", but the dog has four legs which outpace your stupid biped status. She slips through the crack just as you slam the door shut. You spin around still shouting the one syllable word that encapsulates fear, anger, surprise, and defeat, "NOOOO!"

The dog, rendered dumb with pure happiness, races through the house in one big circle leaving muddy footprints on every inch of hardwood floor and area rugs. Ears back and tongue flopping to the side of her snoot, she is ecstatic with joy and full of the Spring fever.

Suddenly, she puts on her doggy breaks, slides to a stop, and falls to the floor at your feet and onto the carpeting. She rolls to her back, feet in the air still pumping furiously as if she is still running while she squirms and wriggles with utter joy grinding the mud and the filth and the poo that coats her body into your once beautiful carpet.

In a flash, she leaps with impressive agility in one flawless motion to all fours then shakes her entire body catapulting the chunks of yard that had embedded themselves into the layers of her fur. Along with the dirt, her fur comes flying out in hunks. It is then you remember that Spring is not just the season of mud, but shedding season.

The sun rays that gleam through the freshly polished glass of the window illuminate all of the fine hairs and dander that dance and float in thick clouds through the once fresh air of your home. You watch helplessly as it all lands upon every newly dusted surface around you.

Though angry and frustrated, you can't help but smile at your frisky friend. You had one glorious moment to bask in the cleanliness of your home.

On the positive side, you can work on getting back in shape for bathing suit season as you bathe and brush the dog, reclean the house, and work on the yard. No boring gym life for you. You have a dirty dog to keep you fit.