By:
Elizabeth Redhead Kriston
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| He's Back. Be afraid. Be very afraid |
The holiday season is
upon us. You know, that time of year when parents, grandparents and loved ones
fervently search for the perfect gift for the beloved child in their lives.
They wait, impatiently, for the annual toy catalogs to arrive, snatching them
out of the hands of disgruntled mail carriers who begrudge being laden down
with retail propaganda.
As they leaf through the
soft pages of the recycled paper, ink stains their fingertips while they scan
through the descriptions, only pausing when they read “educational.” Bingo! Not
any toy will do. No, the perfect toy inevitably requires batteries and purports
to make kids smart.
As a traveling pediatric
therapist, I have been in the homes of hundreds, maybe thousands, of families.
I have observed how parents engage and interact with their children. I have
witnessed the look of pride that lights-up their faces when they show me the
mountain of toys that have encroached upon every living space of the house.
As I try to mask the
look of horror on my face caused by the sensory overload I am experiencing
thanks to all of the beeping, squawking, roaring and screeching emanating from
the bowels of the toy boxes, I try to be supportive and complimentary. This
becomes most challenging when the parents, beaming with pleasure, raise above
their heads the granddaddy of them all, the “learning” toy.
What can we blame for
the rise of the obnoxious toys and the fall of the basic wooden block? Tickle
Me Elmo of course.
The original Tickle Me
Elmo first appeared onto our toy shelves in 1996 (a simple google search can
confirm this fact). As he leapt off the shelves into the hands of enamored
shoppers, and then became the impetus for many a tug-of-war competition in
aisles of toys stores on Black Friday, all the other toys were banished to The
Land of Misfit Toys.
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| Don't be fooled by the "free" battery offer...They won't last long |
From that point forward,
the success of the microchipped and battery-operated toy corrupted our
playthings, our minds and our sanity. No toy was safe. Little people barns came
with ready-made animal sounds; horses on sticks clipped and clopped and even
whinnied; books read to us through animated mouths of creepy teddy bears; baby
dolls ate, cried and pooped. No more need for imagination, all the kids had to
do was push a button
Every parent of small
children has experienced the headaches that come from the never-ending stream
of irritating sounds from high pitched Elmo giggles to eardrum bursting siren
wails. Every tired mom appreciates that moment in the evening when the kids are
in bed and the toys have been collected and stowed for the night. Just as she
pours a glass of wine, breaths deep, basking in the silence, a sound emerges
from the bottom of the toy box. That undeniable giggle is mocking her and
reminding her, You did this. You bought those
toys.
The 2017 version of the
Tickle Me Elmo is being stocked on the shelves in toy stores as you read this.
It is “new and improved” with the biggest selling point being the coveted
on/off switch.
I say, Rise Up! Let us turn-off all these annoying toys. Let us rip-out the batteries and silence them
forever. Let us walk past that overpriced giggle machine and all the other
battery-operated toys and find the aisle with the retro toys that are making a
resurgence.
Rebel against the “educational
learning” toys. Go for the wooden blocks and puzzles. Find the quiet dolls that
just sit still never needing a diaper change. Let your kids blow bubbles with
their very own lips. Even let them peddle a bike, gasp. Search for the toys
that develop imagination, support language development and build muscle
strength and coordination.
Remember, the parent is
the child’s best teacher. You are the best interactive educational toy your
child will ever have. Talk, read, play, sing, experience life. Think of the
money you’ll save on batteries. Use that windfall to by a nice chianti. Sip it
as you sit in true silence after the kids, brains full of new ideas and
knowledge, bodies tired from exerting energy, and hearts full because they got
to play with you, are fast asleep dreaming about tomorrow.
Just a Few Toy Ideas:
*play kitchens and
accessories
*baby dolls and
accessories
*play tools or cleaning
supplies
*blocks that stack or
link
*sports equipment
*non-battery-operated
ride on toys, bikes, scooters, etc…
*books
*music
*craft supplies
*puppets
*felt or magnet boards
*easel or chalkboard
*modeling clay or dough
*science experiment
books/kits
*dress-up clothes
*Mr or Mrs Potato Head
*board games
*puzzles
*doll houses and
accessories
*plastic animals
*cars and trucks
*wooden trains and
tracks
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