My Brunette Life as a Redhead: What’s in a Name: The Name Game

By: Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

I truly appreciate a unique name. How could I not? Being saddled with the surname Redhead resulted in a lifetime of me vacillating between loathing it and loving it.

Currently, I am on the side of loving it. In fact, I adore the name so much that I encumbered my girls with it in a too-long hyphenated last name. My mother-in-law, an old-school thinker, refuses to acknowledge my girls’ last name. She addresses all of their cards using her family's name. She's not alone in her resistance to accepting progressive naming practices.

My husband wanted to be a Redhead nearly taking my name upon our marriage. The only regret I have about our marriage is caving to the popular outrage, choosing to avoid the unrest the moniker Jim Redhead would have caused among our family and friends.

Ironically, a few weeks after we signed all the documents making us married and sealing Jim’s fate as remaining a Kriston, the Today Show featured a newly married couple who had done what we were too weak to do, the husband took the wife’s surname. Of course, it was some ubiquitous name like Smith or Jones. Just imagine how much more interesting the interview would have been with a man who chose to become a Redhead.

Instead of remaining a Redhead after marriage, I became a Kriston. This comes with its own special consequences. Everyone from my coworkers, to my doctors, to my financial advisor call me Kriston not Liz. The fact that my last name happens to also be a female first name is too much for their brains to navigate. I am pretty sure no one calls my husband Kriston by mistake. It can be a bit infuriating.

When I was growing-up, Redhead was a rare name. Now it seems the Redheads of the world have procreated at a rapid pace. In fact, I did one of those government searches to find money that I may have forgotten about (not likely) and found that Elizabeth Redhead had $843.00 in a bank in San Francisco. I completed the required forms, hoping that when I left California two and a half decades ago, broke and sad, I overlooked a small fortune in a savings account at the Bank of America.

Weeks passed when I received a call from a clerk who inquired about my claim. Mixed with hope and doubt she inquired further into my claim. I felt she was rooting for me. She asked me to clarify my date of birth. Then she revealed that the Elizabeth Redhead who left unclaimed money in the B of A was a nonagenarian. Though disappointed, we were both tickled by the fact that there are two Elizabeth Redheads in the world.

A recent Google search unearthed a third Elizabeth Redhead who has a Twitter account which lead me to her LinkedIn account. Apparently, she is looking for a job in hospitality. So, if you know anyone hiring, I can vouch for her based on her name alone.

Many ask about the origin of my surname. My first answer is always, my father…. That usually takes a minute before they reward my lame joke with a half-chuckle. Then I tell them it is Anglo-Scottish, which is kind of boring.

Acquiring my unique name via family heritage makes it a little less silly. Having had to deal with the minimal amount of teasing that I was subjected to by unimaginative middle-school boys made it clear that purposefully giving kids funny names can be a bit cruel. Not only do unusual names attract teasing they cause confusion with pronunciation and spelling. It makes me wonder what the heck people are thinking before they fill-out their babies' birth certificates.

Based on the negative reactions to the name middle name we gave our second daughter (her fathers first name as her middle name), we crossed the line into strange names. Apparently, calling a girl James is too much to handle in modern times. Curiously, my mother Andrea’s (named for her maternal grandfather Andrew) middle name is Jo, a nod to her paternal grandfather.

Arguments over girl versus a boy names are common. However, history shows us that the crossover has been happening for decades no, centuries. Hailey, Hilary, Viviene, Beverly, Meredith are girl names that used to be given to boys. So why can’t James be used for a girl too. Plus, didn’t Jessica Simpson name her girl James. That’s all the evidence I need.

In fact, celebrities have been naming their kids increasingly bizarre names. Checkout some here: http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/810424/top-25-weird-celebrity-baby-names

The Name Game
By: Shirley Ellis

Beyond strange names, we have bizarre spellings. People must believe that creative phonics morphs a common name into something special. Unfortunately, they overlook the fact that pronunciation remains the same resulting in unneeded confusion. For example, the name Madeline has been spelled: Madylyn or Mattylyn or Maddalynn. Why? They all sound like Madeline. Children burdened with names that have alternate spellings will waste countless hours correcting the misspelling of their name.

I have encountered many names over the years that are real head-scratchers for a variety of reasons. Some of my favorites are below:

Though a common name these days, this name which is heaven backwards caused me to nearly wet my pants with laughter the first time I heard it. How many Nevaeh’s do you know?

My mother had a colleague whose surname sounded like wonderlick. Rather than using his full given name, Richard, he opted to answer to the nickname Dick. Go ahead, put it together….

Have you heard the urban legend of the little Leer girl who was named Crysta Shanda? I applaud the creativity, but wonder if that name lit a path for future successes.

Romeo: By a name

I know not how to tell thee who I am:

My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,

Because it is an enemy to thee:

Had I it written, I would tear the word.

Just remember, when you are selecting a name for your child, one day a teacher will have to identify her at roll-call; announcers will need to pronounce her name at sporting events; principles will attempt to call him up to receive a diploma; and employers will want to address her at job interviews. Perhaps the best way to be creative is to be a true rebel. Take a chance and christen your child Mary or Bob. Mic drop! Mind blown!

More Creative Names

https://www.babycenter.com/0_unusual-and-surprising-baby-names_10388919.bc

Girls:

Boys:

3 comments:

SharonDecember 12, 2017 at 6:32 AM
Ahhh, brings back fond memories of a girl in knew in Cali. First name Candy, last name Cane. And a former co-worker, Johnny Johnson.
lizredheadkristonDecember 12, 2017 at 6:53 AM
Classic!
vaiyboraMay 29, 2018 at 11:37 PM
Very nice post really ! I apperciate your blog Thanks for sharing,keep sharing more blogs.

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My Brunette Life as a Redhead

Tuesday, December 12, 2017