By Elizabeth Redhead Kriston
Seriously, I need to stop saying seriously so much. When or why it started, I have no clue. The fact that I use it all day, every day is a fact.
Like most phrases and words we use, we never truly realize their existence until our children start saying it back at us. Many parents wonder why their child refuses to use the proper “yes” and instead speaks the informal “yeah” or worse, “uh-huh.” My response is, “That’s what they hear you say all day.” Inevitably, a glimmer of recognition crosses the parent’s face followed by remorse and embarrassment.
It is enlightening and disturbing, in equal parts, to recognize how annoying one’s speech patterns can be.
This four-syllable word, seriously, eeked its way into my vernacular and became my go-to-term for all types of situations. By simply adding a facial expression and altering my intonation, I can convey a range of emotions: Exasperation, gratitude, annoyance, frustration, humor, irony, anger, confusion, questioning, excitement, sadness and more.
Each time I use this word, I am able to convey a myriad of thoughts and opinions. I use it with my kids, my husband, strangers who can’t hear me, coworkers, actors on TV, people in the news, even my dogs aren’t immune to my seriously quips.
Serious Situations
A fellow highway driver slows while driving in front of me. I move to pass. They speed up. Seriously!
What I am thinking: Oh, game on fool!
My daughter doesn’t want to talk to me all day until I sit at the computer to write. Seriously?
What I am thinking: Shhh! I can’t afford to lose my train of thought! I’m too old for this.
My dog can’t decide whether to lie down in the house or in the yard so she plops down on the door jamb and won’t move so I can shut the door. Seriously?
What I am thinking: In or out? In or out? Make-up your mind old dog. Of course, she can’t hear or see so it’s all futile.
I grab the box of cereal from the pantry shelf. It is empty. Seriously!
What I am thinking: The garbage can is right there! I suppose you expect me to toss it and write it on the grocery list.
People run the stop sign at my corner even when the school bus is picking up kids. Seriously!
What I am thinking: Stop you @#$%^&@! A**Hole! Where are the cops now?
I find the paper from my deskside garbage can scattered, ripped and torn all over the house. The dog looks guilty. Seriously!
What I am thinking: There wasn’t even any food in the can. What are you eating? Why do you hate me so?
I sit-down to turn on Netflix and it won’t connect. Seriously!
What I am thinking: Maybe my husband will hear my mini tantrum and come fix it for me. No? Oh well, I guess I’ll just play solitaire on my phone.
Every time the wind blows my little dog barks. Seriously!
What I am thinking: There must be a humane way to debark a dog. Right?
Watching the news. Every. Single. Day. Seriously?!
What I am thinking: This must be a dream. It can’t get any worse than this. Somebody is going to put a stop to the madness. What can I do? I’ve got to stop watching the news.
One of my books or articles gets published. Seriously!
What I am thinking: I never imagined in a million years that others would take time to read my words and even like what I have to say. Thank you.
The list of moments and situations that call for a proclaimed seriously are endless. No, I’m serious. This list could go on for pages and pages, but I’ll spare you.
I suppose there are worse words than seriously that could infuse my speech. Trying to navigate all the perplexities of life can leave most people speechless. Having a catchword, motto, slogan or saying is very handy even if it becomes a smidge annoying.
I say, own your colloquialisms! Embrace your utterances! Enunciate your idioms! They are what make you, you.
What is your go-to word or phrase?
Seriously? lyrics: Sara Baerilles Performed by: Leslie Odom Jr.
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