Set It and Forget It No More

By Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

In our home we love to cook. I spend many Sundays in the kitchen making broths and stews and other yummy treats to eat throughout the week. On week nights, we often spend an hour or more preparing home cooked and healthy meals whenever possible.

Sitting on the low shelf of a rarely visited kitchen cabinet lives an under-used, off-brand Crock Pot. The once gleaming stainless-steel exterior is dulled with a fine coating of dust. I often think of it when my feet and back ache from standing on our tile kitchen floor as I ponder the thought of set it and forget it. Okay, maybe that genius tag line refers to a Ron Popeil’s Showtime Rotisserie, but it applies for the beloved Crock Pot too.

I have perused many a slow cooker recipe over the years. My Facebook friends often post recipes and photos of scrumptious looking creations they have prepared for their families. These friends boast how they spend a few minutes in the morning rough chopping meat and veggies then adding some sort of canned soup or jarred sauce then simply placing the cover on the ceramic insert, turning the knob to the appropriate temperature, and going on with their day.

Set it and forget.

In the evening when my friends’ families gather for supper, they simply dish out heaping servings of some tasty creation and spend sometime with the family around the dinner table recapping their days and connecting. Afterwards, bellies full, they scrape their dishes and place them in the dishwasher along with the ceramic pot from the slow cooker and get on with their evening of homework, TV, or other endeavors.

This sounds like bliss.

Two things have kept me from using my non-Crock Pot slow cooker more often. First, most of the recipes are filled with the fatty, salty, processed, pre-prepared foods I try to avoid. Fortunately, there currently exists and abundance slow cooker recipes made with fresh and healthy ingredients. Second, I have an irrational fear that leaving food cooking while I am away from the house will inevitable lead to fire. By trying to take a shortcut to meal making, I will doom my family to homelessness and inevitably cause my pets to perish all in the name of convenience.

Click here for healthy recipe ideas

Despite my reservations, I began to use my non-Crock Pot slow cooker this year. I have experimented with making bone broth and a few chicken dishes. The only requirement for me to do so, is that someone is home while the pot simmers the delicacies within. After several successful experiences where the food turned out delicious and the pot did not spontaneously combust, I allowed myself to let the electric pot cook while I stepped out of the house for a quick errand.

No fire. Tasty food.

These successes finally provided me with peace of mind I needed to let the pot cook while I was at work. It took years but, Yeah, I can finally simmer our dinner while I am at work so I can enjoy my evenings. Rather than spend all day Sunday making meals, I can have an adventure or catch-up on all the episodes of This is Us I missed.

Spoiler Alert!!!

Oh, crap. I just caught-up on all my missed episodes of my favorite tear jerking, heart wrenching show. As I watched Jack turn the knob to “off” it was clear that my days of slow cooking were over. If only he had thought to just unplug the hinky old thing!

As the sparks flew and the fire grew, I mourned less for Jack’s imminent death and the little dog who I suppose perishes in the smoke just as I feared my own pups would, and mourned more for my lost Sunday’s of relaxing and my easy evenings where I would not be forced to stand on the hard tile floor and prepare nightly meals for my family.

Then I had a and Ah-Hah moment, Jim cooks, not me. Problem solved!

https://www.dallasnews.com/life/cooking/2018/01/29/us-fans-directing-anger-crock-pot-devastating-fire

Seven Ways to Enjoy the Cold

By: Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

Winters are cold where I live. That is just a fact of life. I was raised in Ohio and currently reside in Western Pennsylvania. Aside from a brief stint in California, where it was often foggy and cool, I grew up with four distinct seasons. My favorite time of year, hands down, is the fall. I love the brilliant blue skies, the warm dry air, and the beautiful colors. Plus, all the fall festivals and pumpkin flavored things make it extra special.

The trade-off for having perfect autumn weather is surviving the oppressively hot summers, the soggy springs, and the bitter cold winters. This winter has been especially brutal. Perhaps the last two mild ones make this winter more unbearable for many. The arctic air, snow, and ice have made it challenging for many.

Though I love having all four seasons, it becomes a bit tiresome listening to the bellyaching of friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers who inevitably complain that it’s too hot or it’s too cold. Ok, I admit, I do that too, but I am not annoying, so….

Seriously, I have made a conscious effort to shut-up and just go with it. That has been my new way of thinking for most things in my life. It is so freeing to just accept things that I can not change and figure out the best way to cope with them.

For those of you who just can’t seem to enjoy the chill of winter, I have a few suggestions that might help you survive the next few months of cold and snow.

The Seven Ways to Enjoy the Cold

1. Dress for the weather: If you are wearing flip flops and shorts while standing in the snow on the corner as you await the school bus, you are under dressed. If you shiver as you walk three blocks from your parking spot to the restaurant because you chose to wear a thin coat, no hat, and no gloves, you are under dressed for the weather. Meanwhile, I am wearing a knitted and lined hat with ear flaps and cozy mittens. Two pairs of Merino wool socks cover my feet that are slipped into fur lined boots guaranteed to keep my tootsies warm in -25-degree temps. Being warm allows me to enjoy my time outdoors rather than curse that my hands and toes are froze.
   
2. Get out and move: Less sunny days than the Pacific Northwest means that I lack vitamin D year round. Unfortunately, most of our sun soaked days come in the fridged days of winter. The insulating clouds float away and the bright sun blazes in the 8 degree weather. The blinding sun reflects off of the white snow forcing eyes to be shaded with sunglasses. This adds to my vitamin D deficiency and increases a lethargic state. The best way to shake off the winter doldrums and get some vitamin D is to get out in the sunshine sans sunglasses (at least for ten minutes so eyes can absorb the suns nutrients). Dress warmly and go for a walk, ski, sled, snowshoe, dog sled, etc.. Many sport shops rent the equipment so, no excuses. Except for the dog sledding thing. That might be a bit tricky. Moving your body will warm you up and cheer you up. Dress in layers for when you get too warm.
   
3. Eat Healthy: Eating healthy was something I learned to do over time. I have embraced vegetables and healthy grains into my diet. I try to eat 8 fruits and veggies a day, drink lemon and coconut water, eat more protein than carbs, and I avoid processed foods as much as possible. I know that those fatty comfort foods call out to us in cold weather. Eventually, when you eat healthy you crave healthy foods. I don't turn down a french fry but I rather have carrot sticks and hummus. I never regret the carrot but can;t say the same thing about the fries.
   
4. Get cozy: By the end of summer I am ready to put on my soft sweats and slippers and snuggle near a fire place. Donning my favorite blanket and slippers, I sip hot tea or wine and read a good book. I love spending Saturday in PJ’s watching movies (actually flipping through Netflix for 3 hours trying to find a movie and then watching reruns of Friends) with my girls (who seethe as I force them to sit with me) and eating popcorn. In the kitchen, my hubby prepares some sort of comfort food whose aroma fills the house making our mouths water until we get to dive into his French stew or roast duck dinner (OK I don't always eat healthy).
   
5. Get organized: When feeling the winter blues nothing perks me up or makes me happier than organizing the junk drawer or weeding out the clothes and shoes in my closet. I am getting excited just thinking about it.
   
6. Sleep more: Its dark all the time in the winter. Perfect for midday napping and sleeping in on your off days.

   

   This family is still playing the same game decades later

7. Dust off those board games and puzzles: Being trapped indoors on those below freezing days can be spent interacting with your family. You might actually be able to finish a game of Monopoly. I am still waiting for the day I figure out how that game ends.

So many wonderful things can be accomplished in the winter. Stop focusing on the cold and find your joy in winter. It’s here for too many days and nights to just wish it away. Winter is part of life, accept it and enjoy it. If you just can’t do that, there are places you can go that are warm year-round. It might be worth the change. Life is too short to be miserable four months out of every year.

It’s Alright to Cry. Crying Gets the Sad Out of You

By: Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

My daughter is fascinated with tears. Whenever my eyes well-up, she can see it from a mile away. Then, without judgement or concern, she immediately asks, “Are you crying?”

It doesn’t matter to her whether we are in line at the grocery store, sitting in a dark theater, or having a heart to heart talk. In all those situations, she will loudly and clearly blurt out, “Are you crying? Why are you crying?”

My daughter has no filter, no concept of being discreet or sensitive in situations where a bit of decorum might be appropriate. Truth be told, I have myself to blame for that. I am famous for just saying what I think. I have always been a truth teller, but even I wouldn’t call someone out for crying when clearly, they are trying to stifle the tears.

Like my mom, I am quick to turn on the waterworks. I swell with tears in pretty much any situation. My emotions are at the surface making it hard to keep the tears at bay. Crying is my go to emotional response for many situations: anger, pride, worry, frustration, happiness, sadness, embarrassment…. You name it, it makes me cry.

I do like to hide my tears whenever possible. Most people think I am a tough cookie who is incapable of freely tapping into her emotions. I have worked long and hard to create that persona. Now my daughter is single-handedly outing me, forcing me to admit I am a softy.

I have spent years discreetly brushing away a single tear as it leaks out while I watch Hallmark commercials or sad stories on the news. Years ago, I would watch Little House on the Prairie as I readied myself for work. Without fail, Pa and Laura would have a heartwarming moment just as I swiped my mascara onto my lashes. My eyes would well-up and become red and puffy as black streams of make-up trickled down my cheeks. After blowing my nose, I’d start all over trying to cover-up my red nose, puffy eyes, and splotchy skin. I am not a pretty crier.

To combat my crying in some situations, I worked hard at developing a well-crafted string of expletives to unleash when I stub my @##$# toe on the *&^% stair, or when I accidentally impale a blender blade into my finger. No tears for the pain, just profane rage. For the times that hiding the tears is just not an option, I leave. I hide up in my room and bury myself under my quilt to stifle the tears, or I retreat to the shower.

Crying in the shower is reserved for those emotional breakdowns triggered by big heartbreaking moments like losing a loved one or the despair of chronic insomnia. Fortunately, those moments are rare. The shower is a good place to cry because the water drowns out the sobs and washes away the tears. Plus, Makena is not there to inquire, “Are you crying?”

The tears helped me survive the most difficult times in my life. Isn’t that what crying’s for, emotional release? It is alright to cry. Crying does take the sad out of you.

It's All Right to Cry - Free to Be You and Me

By: Carol Hall

It's all right to cry

Crying gets the sad out of you

It's all right to cry

It might make you feel better

Raindrops from your eyes

Washing all the mad out of you

Raindrops from your eyes

It's gonna make you feel better

It's all right to feel things

Though the feelings may be strange

Feelings are such real things

And they change and change and change

Sad 'n' grumpy, down in the dumpy

Snuggly, hugly, mean 'n' ugly

Sloppy, slappy, hoppy, happy

Change and change and change

It's all right to know

Feelings come and feelings go

It's all right to cry

It might make you feel better

{Spoken}

It's all right to cry, little boy

I know some big boys that cry too

I am not sure why my daughter is so curious and aware of tears. More than calling me out for crying, she is desperate to see her dad cry.

Regularly, she will ask her dad if he cried. Whenever something stressful or sad happens, she turns to him earnestly searching his face for any sign of dampness. If he sniffles or blows his nose, she appears from nowhere to see if tears triggered his runny nose. When a man on TV cries she asks him if he has cried. She is a bit obsessed with him crying. It drives him nuts so of course I encourage her to ask.

Whenever she brings-up the topic of crying I am reminded of the album that I learned that it was in fact alright to cry. I grew up to the sound track Free to Be You and Me. This hippy-esque album was a compilation of songs performed by Marlo Thomas and friends. They celebrated the liberal human spirit. They sung their hearts out to songs that tackled the themes of just embracing who you are, kindness, tolerance, and love. 

“It’s Alright to Cry”was one of the many songs I memorized as I listened to that album on my orange briefcase record player over and over. We even had the book that listed the lyrics to all the songs. I loved that album.

Marlo taught me why William wants a doll. The song about the spoiled girl who insisted on ladies first helped me understand that tigers will eat bratty children. The expertly performed baby skit taught me that baby boys sound like Mel Brooks and that they have different parts under their diapers than girl babies, “goo.”  The life lessons were as impactful as the music was memorable.

I have a CD of that album and have tried repeatedly to get my kids to embrace the music and lessons to no avail. It seems that the anthem of my childhood is no longer relevant. I guess all the kids of the ‘70’s grew up and put those lessons to work so our kids don’t find the messages as revelatory.  Pop music and technology have opened more young minds than Marlo and friends ever did.

Still, I can’t help but think, if Makena would embrace the Hippy way of thinking, she would be more comfortable with the tears of others. Come to think of it, maybe her dad could learn a thing or two from that album, I don’t think I’ve seen him cry either.

Rosey Grier Performs

And The "I’s” Have It

By Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

This morning I woke-up dreaming about words that began with the letter “I”. Yes, I dream in words. Doesn’t everybody? No? Perhaps that explains why I feel the need to write.

The words come to me in those moments between wakefulness and sleep. My mind races in those early morning minutes as I try to catch my thoughts and keep them with me long enough to jot them down and flesh them out. Most times, they drift away with my sleep, and I step into the day a bit frustrated that another good idea escaped me.

Today I couldn’t stop thinking of those “I” words. There were “E” words and “A” words that crept in, but the “I's” definitely had it. Inexplicable, insurmountable, idealistic…these words flooded my brain.

Before I knew it, the words led me to think about my teenage daughters. Almost every word I conjured, equated to an experience or a quality that I attribute to them or to me as their mother. Of course, these words mean something very different at this stage then they would have when they were babies, preschoolers, and all the years between then and now.

Cookie Monster Sings About the Letter "I"

Hey Cookie, "I" Isn't Just for Icing

Imaginative: They think of creative ways to outsmart me. I think of creative ways to retaliate.

Insufferable: I can definitely be exacerbating when I am trying to show them the way through the ups and downs of life, and they create lots of ups and downs for me.

Innocent: As I listen to them curse, I think, "Those were the days."

Incredible: My girls amaze me every day. Though being a mom is tough, I am freaking incredible! (Positive words help me make it through the day)

Impatient: Yep, that’s me. I blow my top more than I’d like to admit. Yep, that’s them. Like all children they want what they want when they want it.

Indifference: The way they view my rules. I wish I could tap into some of that. It would make life so much easier, right?

Imperfect: Aren’t we all?

Insightful: The best parent's thrust their gut. This is the one thing I love to watch most evolve in my girls. Accessing and acting on their insights ensures that they will succeed in this crazy, unpredictable world.

Insanity: Every family home should have a bit of insanity. If you don’t feel crazy every once in a while, be afraid, be very afraid.

Immature: Yes, I do regress from time to time. I caught myself sticking-out my tongue and crossing my eyes at one of their backs the other day. It felt great.

Illuminating: I learn something knew everyday whether I want to or not

Idealistic: This becomes increasingly tough especially in light of current events, but nurturing idealism alongside realistic expectations is what I strive for as a parent.

Insatiable: Food and attention. Food and attention. Praise. That sums it up.

Inquisitive: The “why’s” of a three-year old can be insufferable, but teaching my girls to question everything and seek the truth is paramount.

Identity: All teens struggle with this, but my girls have a bit more to deal with as they become more interested in their birth families. I am always adjusting my role as their needs change. Learning to be what and who they need to be without losing myself is a balancing act. 

Infuriate: I did mention they were teenagers, right?

Inhale: Take a breath. Take a breath. Just breathe

Inside: They have taken to their rooms. I barely recognize them anymore. Why won’t they come out? 

Infinite: They ways I love them and they ways they make me crazy. The number of times I have to tell them the same thing.

Infatuation: Navigating relationships, whether they be friendships or romantic, is so hard. Watching them try to work it out without “helping” them can be heartbreaking, but they need to learn the lessons.

Indestructible: Though they are strong and amazing, they are not unbreakable. Tough love is, well, tough.

Instantaneous: How quickly I learned to love them.

Intense: Raising teens, in a word

Irrevocable: My love for them, in a word

Irritate: It seems everything I do irritates them. Sometimes the feeling is mutual.

Improvisation: Even when I have a plan, most parenting is improv.

Impetuous: What teens can be daily.

Important: Them, me, our journey…all of it is the most important thing in my life.

These words spilled out of my brain and onto the page. Reading them made me realize I am doing the best I can at the hardest job in the world. I can always improve, but I must appreciate that "I" is only one letter of the alphabet. Parenting involves a vocabulary of experiences, skills, and tools that go way beyond the “I’s.”

Usher Sings the Alphabet

Bucket List Blunders

By: Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

Should I be worried? Recently, I noticed that I have been inadvertently crossing items off my theoretical Bucket-List. I feel healthy. At least as healthy as a decrepit insomniac can. Does my brain know something that my body doesn’t? Should I call my doctor? If only I could remember her name.

My mind is aging just as quickly as my body. So, maybe I should just relax and enjoy all of the fun and exhilarating experiences. Who knows how long I will be able to remember them? Did you say something? I can’t hear you. My presbycusis is settling in. Did I spell that correctly? Let me grab my readers. The old eyes ain’t what they used to be.

What was I saying...? Oh yeah, I am too young and healthy to have an actual Bucket-List (though I do love a good list). Yet, I find myself enjoying those experiences I always thought I might like. Perhaps the fact that my children are finally old enough to either ignore or bring along bolstered my adventurous side.

Now that we no longer have to attach a trailer for all of the kid paraphernalia, we are freer to travel more places. My motto: “If it can’t fit in a carry-on, you don’t need it” has exponentially lightened our load. Plus, stuff I might need is sold everywhere, at least everywhere I’ll go. No hiking into the bush for me thank you very much. I require a bed, a toilet, and a box of wine

Years ago, I crossed off my first Bucket-List item: I ate at a Cracker Barrel. Possibly, the fact that the entire experience from the long wait to the crowded and noisy dining room to the overpriced gift shop to the salty, greasy, and tasteless food should have taught me that what we think we want isn’t really what we truly desire. Yet, here I am, still trying to satisfy my heart’s and mind’s desires.

I read once that the true health benefits of doing something adventurous is the planning itself. The rush of adrenaline, the feelings of anticipation, and the dreaming of what it will be like are the best parts of reaching beyond the humdrum of daily life. This is so true.

I know I feel the happiest in the planning stages. In fact, more times than not, I feel a bit let down when I am immersed in the thing I thought I truly wanted. Like when I was eating my greasy, soggy, bland hash browns at Cracker Barrel.

After returning from the big event, vacation, or even a restaurant I feel tired, deflated, and poor. But the reality is, the more miserable the experience, the better off I am in the long run. Being able to share disastrous stories of epic fails is fun. It makes friends and family, who may have been a bit envious feel better too.

As I tick off items on my Bucket-List, I am not too sad that none have really gone as I imagined. Some of my best stories involve minor car crashes, boat damage, burnt and cold overpriced gourmet meals, and lost luggage. Hospital visits, getting lost in foreign countries, and jelly fish stings are so much more engaging conversation starters than describing the perfect getaway.

My Bucket-List blunders are actually wins as I experienced the exhilaration of planning and fantasizing; the chance to actually do that thing; and fun disaster stories to share afterwards.

7 Bucket-List Blunders

1. Hot air ballooning in New Mexico: After waking in the wee hours of the morning to be transported into the freezing cold desert where we were promptly put to work inflating the balloon, I chickened out and spent the day in the chase vehicle as my
   
   mom and sister soared above the barren landscapes. The chase guy and I traversed the dusty and rocky roads through private ranches and Indian reservations as I feared we would be shot for trespassing. In the end, we enjoyed a champagne toast and a yummy brunch.
2. Bruno Mars concert: Ever since he crooned that he wanted to be a billionaire, I longed to witness him live in concert. I envisioned his shows to be bursting with shiny gold suits, glittering horns in an elaborate orchestra, and awesome choreographed numbers. Instead, Bruno and his crew looked like the wiggles in their array of solid colored t-shirts. After ten lackluster song performances during which we were desperately trying to keep the grossly intoxicated woman next to us from plummeting over the balcony rail to her death, the curtain dropped and we were sent home gob smacked at the brevity and simplicity of the show.
3. A Bahamian island retreat: Here, I was awed by the beautiful clear water in all shades of blue and green, the brilliant blue skies, and the smiling locals I had imagined. The scent of fragrant salt air gave rise to the desire to taste fresh seafood and local produce. The reality left us on futile searches to nowhere for fish and fruit. Hungry, we settled for key limes and local “steaks” which just might have been canine. No matter, everything tastes delicious in the Caribbean. Plus, a squeeze of key lime juice in local mango rum can’t be beat. It makes everything “alright mon.”
4. Summer evening at a ballgame: In my home town routing on our team as they inched closer to the World Series with my family could only be made better with a finale of fireworks. Reality left me standing in line for an hour to pay twenty dollars for cold nachos as a man ignored his date to hit on me. Returning to my seat, I soon discovered the fireworks had been cancelled due to high winds.
5. Travelling to the west: Exploring the national parks and adventures in nature left us fishing my daughter from the rapids of the Yellow Stone river. Horseback riding through the mountains ended in a cold rain after we scooped my daughter from the ground when her spooked horse bucked. Hiking down a mountain to the base of a waterfall terminated when the same daughter fell on the slick stones and bled profusely from her scraped and cut knees.
6. Boating and relaxing on the Chesapeake Bay: This favorite destination placed us in the center of potential crimes as our boat was found sunk in an inlet along the river, and nefarious Russians at the nearby embassy targetedus.
7. A guided fishing excursion: The icy cold rain pelted us on the unseasonably cold early September day as we began our eight-hour day on the Potomac River. Along with Small-Mouth Bass, we caught poachers. The damp chill that drenched our insufficient outerwear morphed into the early stages of hypothermia. Unable to eat our lunch in the rain, we were returned to shore shivering and starving. At least we caught fish.

Undaunted, I continue to dream and plan new adventures. I am certain if one of my Bucket-List items goes off without a hitch, I will be immensely disappointed. I just hope I can hear and see all the things my future holds. Of course, I won’t remember them if they do. I'll just have to consult with Dr. Trinidad.... Hah, I remembered her name!