And The "I’s” Have It

By Elizabeth Redhead Kriston

This morning I woke-up dreaming about words that began with the letter “I”. Yes, I dream in words. Doesn’t everybody? No? Perhaps that explains why I feel the need to write.

The words come to me in those moments between wakefulness and sleep. My mind races in those early morning minutes as I try to catch my thoughts and keep them with me long enough to jot them down and flesh them out. Most times, they drift away with my sleep, and I step into the day a bit frustrated that another good idea escaped me.

Today I couldn’t stop thinking of those “I” words. There were “E” words and “A” words that crept in, but the “I's” definitely had it. Inexplicable, insurmountable, idealistic…these words flooded my brain.

Before I knew it, the words led me to think about my teenage daughters. Almost every word I conjured, equated to an experience or a quality that I attribute to them or to me as their mother. Of course, these words mean something very different at this stage then they would have when they were babies, preschoolers, and all the years between then and now.

Cookie Monster Sings About the Letter "I"

Hey Cookie, "I" Isn't Just for Icing

Imaginative: They think of creative ways to outsmart me. I think of creative ways to retaliate.

Insufferable: I can definitely be exacerbating when I am trying to show them the way through the ups and downs of life, and they create lots of ups and downs for me.

Innocent: As I listen to them curse, I think, "Those were the days."

Incredible: My girls amaze me every day. Though being a mom is tough, I am freaking incredible! (Positive words help me make it through the day)

Impatient: Yep, that’s me. I blow my top more than I’d like to admit. Yep, that’s them. Like all children they want what they want when they want it.

Indifference: The way they view my rules. I wish I could tap into some of that. It would make life so much easier, right?

Imperfect: Aren’t we all?

Insightful: The best parent's thrust their gut. This is the one thing I love to watch most evolve in my girls. Accessing and acting on their insights ensures that they will succeed in this crazy, unpredictable world.

Insanity: Every family home should have a bit of insanity. If you don’t feel crazy every once in a while, be afraid, be very afraid.

Immature: Yes, I do regress from time to time. I caught myself sticking-out my tongue and crossing my eyes at one of their backs the other day. It felt great.

Illuminating: I learn something knew everyday whether I want to or not

Idealistic: This becomes increasingly tough especially in light of current events, but nurturing idealism alongside realistic expectations is what I strive for as a parent.

Insatiable: Food and attention. Food and attention. Praise. That sums it up.

Inquisitive: The “why’s” of a three-year old can be insufferable, but teaching my girls to question everything and seek the truth is paramount.

Identity: All teens struggle with this, but my girls have a bit more to deal with as they become more interested in their birth families. I am always adjusting my role as their needs change. Learning to be what and who they need to be without losing myself is a balancing act. 

Infuriate: I did mention they were teenagers, right?

Inhale: Take a breath. Take a breath. Just breathe

Inside: They have taken to their rooms. I barely recognize them anymore. Why won’t they come out? 

Infinite: They ways I love them and they ways they make me crazy. The number of times I have to tell them the same thing.

Infatuation: Navigating relationships, whether they be friendships or romantic, is so hard. Watching them try to work it out without “helping” them can be heartbreaking, but they need to learn the lessons.

Indestructible: Though they are strong and amazing, they are not unbreakable. Tough love is, well, tough.

Instantaneous: How quickly I learned to love them.

Intense: Raising teens, in a word

Irrevocable: My love for them, in a word

Irritate: It seems everything I do irritates them. Sometimes the feeling is mutual.

Improvisation: Even when I have a plan, most parenting is improv.

Impetuous: What teens can be daily.

Important: Them, me, our journey…all of it is the most important thing in my life.

These words spilled out of my brain and onto the page. Reading them made me realize I am doing the best I can at the hardest job in the world. I can always improve, but I must appreciate that "I" is only one letter of the alphabet. Parenting involves a vocabulary of experiences, skills, and tools that go way beyond the “I’s.”

Usher Sings the Alphabet